Mariana
Human
Pirate Capitan of The Bastard's Kiss}}Strength{4} Dexterity{6} Willpower{2} Magic{0} Cunning{5}
has slept with everyone
Posts: 350
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Post by Mariana on Feb 19, 2012 2:09:07 GMT -5
I was sitting at a bar with a friend the other night when he casually pointed across the bar from us and said, "see those two old drunks sitting there...that's going to be us in ten years."
I looked and him and said, "that's a mirror stupid!"
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Myles
Human
}}Strength{0} Dexterity{0} Willpower{3} Magic{9} Cunning{2}
Posts: 210
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Post by Myles on Feb 19, 2012 5:34:42 GMT -5
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Mariana
Human
Pirate Capitan of The Bastard's Kiss}}Strength{4} Dexterity{6} Willpower{2} Magic{0} Cunning{5}
has slept with everyone
Posts: 350
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Post by Mariana on Feb 19, 2012 14:42:17 GMT -5
I have now learned the true meaning of old age. The other day I was laying on the couch with my wife after she finished up with some domestic maintenance. She turned to me and said, "what I really need is a good long screw." Without a thought I went out to my shed to look for one.
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Muire
Kossith
Former Tallis of the Ben Hasran}}Strength{2} Dexterity{4} Willpower{1} Magic{0} Cunning{1}
Posts: 53
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Post by Muire on Feb 20, 2012 23:42:39 GMT -5
Bob joins a very exclusive nudist colony. On his first day he takes off his clothes and starts wandering around. A gorgeous petite blonde walks by him and the man immediately gets an erection. The woman notices his erection, comes over to him grinning sweetly and says: "Sir, did you call for me?"
Bob replies "No, what do you mean?"
She says: "You must be new here; let me explain. It's a rule here that if I give you an erection, it implies you called for me."
Smiling, she then leads him to the side of a pool, lays down on a towel, eagerly pulls him to her and happily lets him have his way with her.
Bob continues exploring the facilities. He enters a sauna, sits down, and farts. Within a few moments a huge, horribly corpulent, hairy man with a firm erection lumbers out of the steam towards him. The Huge Man says: "Sir, did you call for me?"
Bob replies "No, what do you mean?"
The Huge Man says: "You must be new here. It is a rule that when you fart, it implies you called for me."
The huge man then easily spins Bob around, bends him over the bench and sodomizes him. Bob rushes back to the colony office. He is greeted by the smiling naked receptionist: "May I help you?"
Bob says: "Here is your card and key back. You can keep the \$500 joining fee."
Receptionist: "But Sir, you have only been here a couple of hours; you only saw a small part of our facilities..."
"Listen lady," Bob replies. "I am 58-years-old. I get a hard-on about once a month, but I fart 15 times a day. No thanks!"
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Post by facemelterrp on Feb 27, 2012 20:37:45 GMT -5
How do you stop a French tank?
Say "boo"
During WW2, the French resistance fighters, in their finest hour, bravely threw sticks of dynamite at the advancing German troops. The Germans then lit them and threw them back.
Whats the difference between a frenchmen and a bucket of shit?
The bucket
What's the shortest book ever written?
"French War Heroes."
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Post by torin on Mar 7, 2012 17:13:50 GMT -5
We've been invited to a friend's wedding but none of my girlfriend's dresses fit anymore...
Looks like I'll have to wear a suit instead.
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Mariana
Human
Pirate Capitan of The Bastard's Kiss}}Strength{4} Dexterity{6} Willpower{2} Magic{0} Cunning{5}
has slept with everyone
Posts: 350
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Post by Mariana on Mar 11, 2012 11:52:49 GMT -5
Peter called his doctor’s office for an appointment. “I’m sorry,” said the receptionist, “we can’t fit you in for at least two weeks.”
“But I could be dead by then!”
“No problem. If your wife lets us know, we’ll cancel the appointment.”
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Iggy
Human
}}Strength{6} Dexterity{3} Willpower{0} Magic{0} Cunning{1}
Make love AND war!
Posts: 104
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Post by Iggy on Mar 11, 2012 22:39:47 GMT -5
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