Forged of Blood[Honovi]

[Honovi]

The potion was working, and Honovi peered anxiously down at Alex as he tried to get his bearings. It almost seemed as though he didn't know her at first, but the second he said her name Honovi smiled broadly and hugged him fiercely. Alex might think it undignified, but she didn't care - she'd truly thought he was going to die. Besides, he knew very well that Honovi was a very tactile woman, and he was probably expecting it. What he likely hadn't expected, however, was her emotional outburst as she buried her face in his hair, clutching him tightly. "I thought you died, brother." Just the thought made her shiver.

But there was something very strange about the way he reacted to the stranger. Alex had needed no explanation of who Honovi was, and yet this... Keldian Tonicus had to spin a story before Alex relaxed and she didn't trust it. Perhaps he had even been the cause of these "magical dreams" that had nearly killed her friend, but then perhaps she was being overly suspicious. Keldian may well have saved Alex's life, and she should be grateful rather wary.

Besides, if he was Alex's friend he couldn't be a mage, as Alex's angry growl pointed out. Honovi winced and pursed her lips - her father was a mage, and she herself was a mage sympathizer with a history of not only hiding mages but of fighting and killing for them as well. It stung to know that she had to keep such secrets from her closest friend, but what was, was. Arguing was pointless, neither could change the other's mind and they would only hurt each other. She tried to picture the look on Alex's face if she told him she fought for mages, but her mind shied away from the thought. He had more power over her than he knew. Alex of Pearlmouth was the only man alive she truly cared for, even loved, even if as only a brother.

But his fit of temper lasted only the barest of moments and then it was gone, Alex insisting that he was fine and that they had things to do. Good, perhaps he was better then, if he remembered what they were doing before his collapse. Standing, Honovi kept a tight grip around his hand, as much out of unwillingness to let him go as an offer to help him to his feet. It must have offered a different view of their relationship, however, as Keldian mistook her for Alex's lover. Alex looked flustered by the mistake, but Honovi merely arched a brow.

"It is not the first time someone has made that mistake, brother," she said, casting a wry look at Alex. "It is not true, so there is no need to concern ourselves with it, yes?" Still, she didn't let go of his hand.

[Alex]

It must've been his weariness. It could not have been anything else. He gripped Honovi's hand, using it as a lever to pull himself up.

"It indeed isn't, Honovi."

He took on a cool composure as he followed Keldian. It was almost noon; the daylight struck at him like a blade. He tried to go over his dreams, but could not stop the feeling that this was not the first they had come to him. Yes, they came to him. He knew why, but he hated it. He hated the whole idea of it. He could not accept it; it was the very thing that had nearly destroyed his life. He could remember faintly it not being the first time, either; distant, misty memories of a dark room and a stool standing in the lamplight filled his head. No. This was not the time.

I will not succumb to myself. The thought seemed to come out of thin air. Myself? Who is it? What is happening to me?

Perhaps it was some sort of madness kicking in. He wasn't sure, though, but he chuckled silently at the thought of it. Alex the Mad. How valiant it would sound.

Coming back from his thoughts, he absorbed his surroundings, marking every detail, feeling every last fiber until he was satisfied. This had become a regular experiment to him as of late, as well. But to him, it was just another mystery he could not solve. More and more he himself seemed to grow more mysterious; he was not sure if he knew himself anymore. Sometimes he seemed to say things that he had never even thought about, much less thought of saying. It was as if his whole personality was changing, and lately it had only been faster.

Honovi. She had invaded his thoughts more often than not, too. He certainly had never thought of her that way, but now he saw her as a woman rather than as a companion, or a friend. Simply a woman. A woman you could romance. At first he had appeared reluctant to the whole thought of it; she was a companion, not a lover. Yet one could only guess what had changed his mind. He himself could not but guess how, or why; still, delaying it seemed to be the best option right now.

Alex had managed to retain some inner calm despite all that had been happening to him lately; still, it was not much. He could keep a cool composure on his face, but that was about as much as it extended to.

He called out at the old man striding in front of him.

"These...supplies you talked about. You wouldn't happen to have more of that medicine? I can't help but to think that if this is going to continue, it'll come in handy sooner or later."

The answer came, if a bit hesitantly.

"Of course. I don't have a lot of it, though, so you better keep that in mind as you're choosing what to take and what to leave. Only my own apartments I wish to be left untouched."

"That will do just fine."

He grimaced at his white curls. He just remembered what the man was, despite trying to hold it back. It was a thing of extraordinary rarity that he had survived so long. At least Alex had had some time to fight it back - and now look at what it got him to. It only came back, and doubly worse, too.

Turning to Honovi, he murmured thanks for her concern, but grimacing afterwards at its formal sound. He decided to fix it up instead of leaving the words hanging in the air.

"What I mean is that I'm thankful, and proud, to have your concern. It does mean very much to me."

He kept his tone strictly thankful, but could not stop himself adding in a small layer of mysterious deepness to the words. He hoped it would not be too obvious.

Finally, after a moment that seemed to stretch out until it seemed like an eternity, they arrived at a small house. The wagon was clearly visible, all covered in colorful stitches and patches, parked in a small barn just beside the house. A strong-looking brown stallion stood at its rear, the saddle and reins lying in an opened chest at the far end of the barn. The shadows covered most of the backside; you could barely see the chest, but there could be anything lying on the ground without you being able to see it. Alex helped himself to where Keldian had strode; inside the wagon.

Upon entering the strange, multi-colored wagon, the strange odours filled his nostrils. He inhaled the exotic smells furiously as if to clear his head from all the mistiness, but if it had any effect at all, Alex thought the headache must've gotten worse. Grimacing, he eyed the various shelves and chests curiously. One chest was filled with ropes, and beside it lay a weapon stand leaning against the wall. It was mostly empty; only a few blades remained there, but one instantly caught his eye. A long, gleaming sword that was slightly curved towards its tip. He took a step towards it, then another. Like it had not weighed more than a feather, he lifted the sword up from the stand.

"It's not a Tevinterian model. It is of Orlesian origin; they make these in Orlais for the nobility, although only a few ever get to see blades such as these. Only a certain few possess them; I've heard that the Emperor has one, and a noble called Nathaniel de Beniér."

Alex drew in the words, one by one, letting them sink in before replying.

"And how have you come across such a fine blade? And how do you know so much about it, not to mention about who carry these?"

This time he felt a little better; it was much easier to keep his voice steady now. Keldian flashed a toothy smile at him, but Alex wasn't looking at him. His eyes were still set on the exquisite sword.

"Trade secret, my dear fellow."

He could almost hear a laugh parting from his lips, but he paid little attention to him now. The sword was all; only it existed to him. It seemed to fill his whole world, and everything else drowned in darkness except the sword. But something else was in there, too. Honovi.

Honovi and the gleaming sword.

The sword and Honovi.

Sword or Honovi?

Suddenly the darkness cracked, every broken piece piercing his mind, filling him with silent pain. He could only gape at the sword until the world materialized about him. Turning around with the sword still firmly in his right hand, he met the old man's gaze. Suddenly the man did not seem so familiar as he had used to. His own gaze turned into a hard glare.

"I only need this, thank you. We will stay here to look if we need anything else, but we don't necessarily have need for your company. We'll call you if we have need of your services."

For a moment the old man looked abashed, but with a contemptous look at the sword he departed the wagon, brushing his way past Honovi. Alex's attention was still fixed on the sword, yet he could not help but to notice how angry the old man seemed to have been... what was his name? Keldian? Keldian Tonicus. Not important at the moment. Forgetting Keldian, he turned to the sword again, examining it from hilt to tip. The hilt was finely crafted, but still plain; it had no ornaments or any jewelry implanted in it. As his gaze ran up to the gleaming blade, he noticed the fine carvings at the very foot of the blade. He could not understand the language, but they seemed to be runes of some manner. Perhaps Keldian would know about them? Or some other scholar? Somehow, the thought of finding another scholar appeared more inviting to him than the thought of consulting Keldian about the sword again. He was clearly reluctant to reveal anything useful about it. Perhaps he and Honovi together would find one in here, or in Denerim. He had already forgotten about his boots, their supplies, and the whole purpose of their journey.

[Honovi]

Something was still very very wrong and Honovi moved closer to Alex's side as he fumbled his way through his thanks for her concern, clutching his hand in hers tighter. Was he still not recovered properly? If that was the case then Honovi wanted badly to put her arm around him for support, but she knew he'd never allow it while there was anyone to see. Alex and his foolish pride... if he needed help he should take it, especially from her. People mistook them for a married couple often enough already, they would just assume the same if they were seen with their arms wrapped around each other.

All she could do, however, was follow along beside him with his hand in hers until they reached the garishly coloured patchwork wagon. When she let go of his hand to enter it was almost grudging, a concession to his need for both hands to climb up easily. She just couldn't get past her distrust of Keldian, and as soon as Alex was out of the way enough for her to enter she followed close behind him.

It seemed ordinary enough, a simple paddler's wagon filled with goods, but Alex was just... fixated on that sword he was holding. He was completely insensible to everything but the blade, even when Honovi snapped her fingers in front of his face, and fear for her friend warred with rage at Keldian. Not again. This looked entirely too much like the fit he'd had earlier before he lapsed into unconsciousness, and Honovi took his arms in case he collapsed again as she turned a cold stare on Keldian.

"What have you done to him?" she asked quietly, voice like ice and her anger barely contained. "I said what did you do?"

Before the old man could answer, however, Alex regained himself and turned to him with a glare, coldly sending him away. Good. Honovi trusted the Keldian about as much as she trusted the village gossip, and he had no business with them. "We need to leave, brother. Quickly, please."

[Alex]

Although he was now looking around for potions and food, gathering rope bundles from the open chest, the sword did not fade from his head. Its image stayed there, although dimly. The sword hanged from his belt ominously; he did not yet have a fitting scabbard to it, but he intended to commission it at the tailor. A fine sword deserves a fine scabbard.

"What do you think of Keldian? He seems odd to me. He knows so much, too. Makes me think that he's not who he says he is." Alex spoke casually, showing no sign of emotion as he mentioned the old man.

Alex frowned at the apples as he picked up three, putting them in the pockets of his jacket. His grey traveling-cloak was bundled in his backpack, the dice laying on top of it in a rather orderly manner.

"You wouldn't mind if we tried to find a scholar from somewhere? Someone with knowledge of runes?" He mentioned it so casually that he could've said it without thinking at all.

The runic engravings at the foot of his blade flashed as his lap moved when he searched for supplies. The blade scrubbed against his lap every time he moved, but he didn't seem to notice it at all. After the incident with the sword he had not shown any particular interest to it, but in truth his hands itched in an urge to test it at something. He had not been so excited about anything since he left his home.

I wonder how things are in Pearlmouth.

He shrugged the thought off. He did not want to remind himself of his home.

If I know my people and hometown at all, they're prospering.

He really didn't want to think about it; it always blackened his mood. But the image of the sword remained.

Maybe it will help me to forget.

If he'd not just forget too much. Swinging his backpack on his shoulders, he balanced on the floor for a moment; it was heavier than he had expected. As he regained his balance, he turned to Honovi. His eyes flickered just when the runes in his blade flashed again, but he did not seem to notice it.

"To be honest, I don't trust the man at all. I say we just leave the place and him. Visit the tailor, get these boots fixed and other things we need."

His eyes flickered again, as if remembering something.

"I want to find out what these runes mean, too. Although," he added, "I don't think that we can find a scholar who can translate runic engravings in this village, but Denerim is bound to house at least one..."

[Honovi]

Standing by the entrance of the wagon, arms crossed and frowning, Honovi watched in silent disapproval as Alex continued to rifle through Keldian's goods to find anything that might be useful and asked what she thought of the older man. She could only shake her head. "I don't trust him enough to take his things, and I do not like that sword. Something very strange happened when you picked it up, brother." Despite her warning, however, Alex continued picking things up and asked about finding a scholar. Very well. "If you must keep it, we should learn what it means. You will not like it, but it might be wise to take it to a mage."

Honovi bit back a wince at what she expected Alex's response to be, her expression neutral despite the argument she was expecting over it. She knew how passionately Alex hated mages and magic both, but it was likely the best course of action. Scholars might be able to decipher the meaning of the runes, but they couldn't detect any enchantment that may have been worked into the blade. Honovi knew well that runes on both weapons and armour were almost invariable magical in nature, and she feared what form that might take in Keldian's goods.

Indeed, when Alex turned to her his eyes flashed along with the runes on his sword and her jaw tightened. There was something very, very wrong with that blade and Honovi had to choke back the urge to snatch it straight out of his hand and throw it away. "Please Alex, leave the sword here. If you wish to know what the markings mean we can copy them but I do not trust that blade." Best if they left quickly, and forgot all about this place. Indeed, Honovi was starting to regret not suggesting they make camp the night before when she'd seen how tired Alex was - she just couldn't shake the feeling that none of the day's events would have occurred then, including Alex's illness.

[Alex]

A cold breeze came in from the open door of the wagon, sweeping past the various items scattered on the floor, sending chills up Alex's spine. He ignored them, barely even feeling it. The runes in the blade gleamed still as he listened to Honovi. She spoke with a voice of concern, addressing him firmly like a mother addresses her children. No. Not exactly like that, but perhaps like how a sister would address her brother. Perhaps, but there was something in it he had never heard before, too.

"I don't trust him enough to take his things, and I do not like that sword. Something very strange happened when you picked it up, brother."

He gave a start as she mentioned the thing that happened as he held the sword the first time; he felt something crack open, and immediately the emotion returned to him. But he could still remember. Something had shattered in him as he took that sword, and something new had come to replace it; he could still feel a remnant of the pain in his head, but it did not sting him anymore. It was more like a slight tingle, seeming to come from somewhere outside his head, yet it felt as if he could almost catch a glimpse of it from the corner of his eye if he really tried it. Of course, when he tried, it always changed place, always remaining at the same place; now it was gone, too. He didn't know why, but he missed the feeling. He wanted it to come back alongside the emptiness in his head. The blessed emptiness.

"So you saw it. It was nothing, really. The runes caught my eye, carved in that fine blade; I've never seen anything quite like it."

He almost felt shocked, but the tingle was returning again. Silently rejoiced, he became aware of all the feelings in him; excitement, shock, confusion. He rummaged his head for answers to why he felt them, soon remembering what he had said. His face kept its cool, near emotionless composure; he eyed Honovi with indifferent eyes.

"I don't like to keep things from her. But she would insist on deposing of the sword if I ever told her."

He had a strong feeling that the sword would still play an important part in his life; he felt life pulsing in his veins, as if he were young again. He knew that it was not the excitement; he knew that the power came from the sword itself. Shockingly he realized that he wanted to glory in it; he wanted to dance, to sing aloud, to cry the tears of joy. But the thoughts only slid across the emptiness that enveloped his mind; he was aware of the ripples of emotion prying at its sides. He noticed that it wasn't harder to think; he could think just fine, perhaps even faster, except that remembering something was harder than before.

"I'd never forget Honovi."

Another thought sliding across the emptiness, but this one seemed to carry an important weight. Perhaps he should keep that in mind. But then the woman spoke again.

"Please Alex, leave the sword here. If you wish to know what the markings mean we can copy them but I do not trust that blade."

This time the emptiness remained, but rage bubbled at its edges, almost cracking it open again.

"You want me to part from it? I could as well leave my house to bandits! I could as well kill myself! It's mine!"

Cold rage filled his eyes to bursting; they flared up like great bonfires. The runes flashed, too; he and the blade already seemed to share a relationship.

"It's my blade. Mine! You will not choose what do with it, but I will. And I have decided to keep it!"

Almost immediately he regretted his words. This time he felt something new in his head; like submittal to something, and then the emptiness vanished smoothly alongside the tingle. Worry and remorse filled him. His eyes were not flaring anymore; they had a regretful, shocked look in them, reflecting her image from them. As he began speaking they looked at Honovi in a supplicant stare.

"I simply feel that this sword is very important to me. I feel that it will yet play an important part at something, and besides, I don't think I could part from it now that I have already taken it. Don't make me do it, Honovi. Please."

[Honovi]

Alex... was lying to her. He never lied to, and yet... Honovi pressed her lips into a firm line. Something was very, very wrong and she was sure it had something to do with Keldian and that sword. No, not just sure. She knew it, felt it in her bones. Alex was a puppet and the sword was his strings. Call it the intuition of a shaman's daughter, or the experience of a mage-smuggler, but she just knew, and she pleaded with him to leave it behind.

The reaction, however, was far from what she'd hoped for. Alex's eyes and the runes on the sword flashed as one and his voice ripped from his throat, vicious and angry. That was not Alex. Alex didn't even raise his voice to her unless they were arguing about mages, and Honovi straightened her back against the onslaught. The thing-that-was-not-Alex was bound to the sword, a vessel for its hate and power, and Honovi would show it no weakness. She simply stared calmly into its flaming eyes, her gaze hard and sharp as a dragon's claw, impassive and cold. The thing-that-was-not-Alex would get nothing from her.

No, the thing-that-was-not-Alex did not frighten her. Alex's reappearance, however, was sudden and startling, almost unreal, and Honovi didn't relax her rigid posture. Indeed, she turned her gaze from his eyes as he tried to amend his words, fixing her gaze on an irregular scrap of blue on the wall of the patchwork wagon. Perhaps it was truly Alex, or perhaps the thing-that-was-not-him had simply regained control of itself. Either way, there was no way for Honovi to tell when one might wrest control from the other and she didn't dare relax her guard.

"As you say," was her simple response, eyes still trained on the blue patch. Her tone was polite, cool, almost perfectly neutral - a tone she reserved for employers, or strangers she was meant to work with. Certainly not one she used with Alex. Not with her brother. But she wasn't with her brother - at least, not only with him.

It was as though a ball of needles had caught in her throat as she steadfastly refused to meet his eyes but she had to keep her distance lest the thing-that-was-not-Alex find some weakness to drive her away. Honovi was not a mage or a scholar, she was not a priest to know a man's soul but Alex meant too much to lose him like this. Her mouth tightened and she stepped toward him, wrapping her arms around him to lay her head on his chest. As long as she was close, perhaps she might find her brother again.

[Alex]

Her indifferent, placid response did not surprise him. He knew her far too well, yet he had expected something... somehow something more from her. Why did she not understand it? Why did she suddenly resort to that bland placidness, that emotionless stare she usually reserved for people she despised? She was afraid of something. He reminded himself that he knew her well - better than anyone else, he thought, but just then she stepped closer and snuggled closer, resting her head against his chest. That seemed to be the last thing she would do after she had just as much as said that she despised him. But still, he felt something else besides the confusion. A sudden warmness filled him, sudden waves of shock rushed in his veins as he too wrapped his arms around her, chin resting slightly on her head. Somehow, for a reason he did not understand, he could still think clearly. Was this the person he knew to be himself?

He felt the change, now. It didn't seem to be much of a change, though - rather than turning him into a cruel thing, he simply seemed stronger. Firmer. More capable of influencing people. It truly didn't seem to be very dangerous, but he knew that even small changes could be. And the sword. It seemed to have become a part of him, now; he didn't think he could've let it go anymore. Letting it go... even thinking about it felt like thinking about murdering someone. Or not just someone - someone close to you. Like trying to destroy a part of yourself. And Honovi. Apparently she had realized the change in him. However big he knew it was, he could not afford her to know half of it. Still having his hands wrapped around her, he realized he had snuggled closer to her while thinking. Somehow it felt better, though. And perhaps she would listen to him better now.

"Yes, I have changed. I feel stronger, Honovi. And I don't feel an urge to do anything - in fact, I can think freely. Even about ditching the blade, although the thought of it is stomach-wrenching. I don't think that I can ditch it anymore, not by myself." And not with your help either.

It did not feel that important at the present, though. Keldian was not to be trusted for any information, but Denerim was sure to house a mage. Someone who could tell him of the runes and what they do.

"I think that you're right, too. We should go to Denerim and find a mage to tell us what kind of an enchantment this sword bears. I thought--" suddenly stopping, he realized his slip. Shocked, he almost pulled back, but it would only make things worse. The slip wasn't a big one, anyway. Enough to raise suspicion; but that was just about all what Honovi needed.

He set on his face a mask of grim determination - he knew that Honovi would not see it - and prepared for the worst she could throw at him. All time he had told her that he hated anything to do with magic, and did not want to know anything about it. Well, partly that was true, but he still knew about it. Blood and ashes, how hard it was to even admit it.

[Honovi]

"Yes, I have changed. I feel stronger, Honovi. And I don't feel an urge to do anything - in fact, I can think freely. Even about ditching the blade, although the thought of it is stomach-wrenching. I don't think that I can ditch it anymore, not by myself."

Honovi pursed her lips and held him tighter, the rest of Alex's sentence hanging in the air. He wasn't going to leave the sword behind no matter how she begged, whatever she did to help him. And whatever he said, Honovi didn't believe that the sword wasn't pulling any strings. Are you in there, brother? If he wasn't... No, she wouldn't despair now. She'd find Alex, and if she didn't she'd tear Keldian Tonicus and all his masters, all his underlings, everyone he knew to shreds. If she lost Alex, he'd lose everything.

"I think that you're right, too. We should go to Denerim and find a mage to tell us what kind of an enchantment this sword bears. I thought--"

He stopped abruptly and Honovi clutched him tighter. "You hate magic." Her voice was bland, but just the statement was accusation enough. He should have argued, should have demanded that they go to anyone but a mage... Alex should have been furious at the mere suggestion. Instead, he simply agreed. No, that wasn't Alex. Forcing herself to pull away, Honovi lifted her chin and looked directly into the-thing-that-was-not-Alex's eyes, pinning him with a hard stare. "Who are you?"

[Alex]

"..." For a moment he considered the possibility she had gone mad, and the light in her eyes certainly supported his theory. It must be because of his slip. He knew more than he wanted to admit, and now he was in trouble - worse trouble than ever - because of his lying, although not quite in the way he had expected. He had expected Honovi to scorn him for lying, but not such a rage that would turn her like this. Had he lost his sister with his foolish games now? He couldn't forgive himself if it turned out to be so.

"I apologize for lying... I hate magic. But I know more than I admitted, and I am more comfortable with the subject than I've revealed ever to you." He drew a long, shuddering breath, as if struck by a blade.

"I lied. That is what matters. And I am sorry. I will tell you what you wish to know..." He could not end the sentence. The Maker willing, do not allow her to leave.

He started speaking before Honovi could respond to him. Just to make sure she wouldn't leave before he had said what he wanted.

"In my family, there were mages once. Grandfather was one, I believe. What I know, I learned from my father and several different books. Being a young lout, I was eager to meet more mages then. And when I did, they just ruined everything."

He hated doing it, but he hoped she was interested enough in the story to not leave immediately. Not yet, at least, not before he still had a chance to convince her to stay! He wondered why he was reacting as if she had threatened to leave than simply becoming angry. Perhaps he was weaker than he thought.

[Honovi]

Honovi kept her expression bland and calm as Alex spoke, but inwardly she was frantic. It really shouldn't be harder to accept that Alex had been lying to her than that he might be possessed, but it was. He was just... he was him, her brother, who she knew better than anyone and suddenly she was learning she didn't know him at all. And why would he keep his familiarity with magic a secret from her of all people? He knew she was a mage-sympathizer, they'd argued about it often enough... "Why didn't you tell me?"

The question was out of her mouth the first time Alex paused for breath, the slight tilt of her head the only change in her stony expression. If there really was someone using the sword to control Alex she couldn't afford to give anything away, but she just... couldn't leave. Staying was foolish, leaving was a betrayal, speaking risky, silence pointless - there was no good action to take. Sometimes Honovi missed the simple straightforwardness of the Blight.

Lifting her chin, Honovi met Alex's eyes once more with a stony stare, her gaze hard and inscrutable. If Alex's explanation was true he'd be able to give her a reason for not telling her before, and if they weren't... Well, she'd still stay close, try to find some way of bringing Alex back. She wouldn't lose him. Couldn't lose him. Not like everyone else, never again, Honovi never fail to protect anyone again.

But she already had failed, in a way. "You have changed," she said softly, and the absence of the word brother when she addressed him was louder than anything else she could say. Honovi wouldn't leave, but she wasn't sure she knew him now.

[Alex]

Where was his cunning when he most needed it? Gone with the wind alongside the cold whirlwind of emotions that she set on him, apparently. So now it would come to hows and whys. Well, it had to come out sooner or later. Alex didn't doubt that she knew how the old saying went... 'If you uncover one of your friend's secrets, there are bound to be ten more.'

"I couldn't bring myself to. What I saw - might've been blood magic, all I know, but then and there I lost everything that mattered to me. Not my parents - both were probably dead then - but a traveling companion. A bit like you, in fact. And... and to try to combine magic with you... I couldn't bring myself to think about it. I hated it. It's like you were waving a dagger above your own head, constantly taunting to commit suicide."

He knew it sounded foolish. Overly foolish... what else could've he said? More lies? No, it all had to come out now.

"There wa--" She cut in, regarding him with her colder-than-ice eyes, and to Alex she was bursting of rage. Or disregard... or...she didn't say brother? The absence of the word was much more pressing than anything else. His face took on a grim acceptance, a stony mask that he could've wore before entering a dragon's lair.

"Changed. Yes, I have changed, and I know what caused it. And if you won't believe me, let me swear it." He took a long, ragged breath.

"Here under the Maker, I, Alex of Pearlmouth, say that I speak only the truth. This I swear, and let the higher powers be my witnesses for this oath." He recited the words gravely as taught by his father, word to word.

He took another long breath, not so ragged this time. Improvement. Perhaps she would believe him now; this was the strongest oath he knew, which only a maleficar or worse could break. It'd last a long time, perhaps the rest of his life. Another thing to be wary of. Never speak an untruthful word.

"I am not enthralled by any object ever created. If this blade has an enchantment that does such things, I will have it removed if possible. And as for my hatred of mages, I often like to think that they are monsters. Murderers. But I probably haven't met a... 'proper' mage, then."

He could feel that it wasn't good enough. Good enough for himself. He wanted to trust her, not scorn her beliefs like this.

"But you believe that mages are not so. Well, then. For your sake, I will believe as you do."

It was horrible. He was trying to get out of the cooking pot he had prepared for himself, and found out that it was becoming increasingly difficult. Fortune send it that it all wouldn't fall apart now.

[Honovi]

Honovi's face softened. "Oaths to your god mean nothing to me."

One corner of her mouth twitched up in her sad attempt at a smile. Oaths to the Maker meant nothing to her, but a great deal to Alex, and for now it was enough proof that Alex was still in there somewhere. She should be wary but it just... took so much energy and she was tired. No, not tired - she was heartsick. It felt wrong to be wary of Alex, and it was only compounded by the fact that he was the first person she would go to when she was so lost.

Scrubbing a hand over her face, Honovi leaned back against the side of the wagon as Alex kept talking. Let him explain, let him tell everything. At this point, Honovi wanted so desperately to have Alex back that she'd likely have believed anything he had to say. But he sounded like himself, confessing his desire to believe all mages were monsters as though she hadn't already known, and she nodded.

It did take her by surprise when he offered to try believing as she did, however, and she gave him a wide-eyed stare she only revealed to him. Genuine surprise and... something else. She was touched, perhaps, and she sagged as she finally released the wary tension pulling her muscles taut. He was Alex, but changed. Perhaps for the better. Perhaps enough that she could finally reveal the one and only secret she'd ever kept from him.

"I must believe it brother. I did not know him, but my father was a mage. The templars took him before I was born. He is the healer my mother died without when I was born."

[Alex]

Alex had been twitching unconsciously for a good while, let to fret by that Chasind woman. She just glared at him, until the words came out as sharp, vicious hissing. Or perhaps he was just imagining it all.

What was the woman trying to do? He knew that women were trouble, but Honovi had never been like this before. First, she nearly forced him to swear for the truthfulness of his words, as if he were another person altogether, and then she coldly dismisses his oaths? It was... irritating. Very irritating. He wasn't in the best of moods, the twitching almost nearly stopping, his face growing pale of the anger swelling in him.

Suddenly she began to speak, calmly as ever, but about matters that very nearly made Alex want to strangle the woman. Now his face was very pale, a cold inferno of rage raging in his deep, brown eyes. Barely moving at all now, his mouth opened once, but he was unable to voice his thoughts. He should've known.

Women have secret places in their heads that they will never share with men.

Well, of course. So now he had to take it that Honovi, too, had hid so many secrets for him? He knew he had nothing on the Chasind, but still he went on, eyes glowing like endless caverns of flames, voice rolling like thunder.

"You hid this from me?"

Something told him that this wasn't the right path. A little voice in the back of his head, perhaps warning him. He felt a slight tingle in his head, and suddenly he could see a little clearer. He saw the anger in her eyes, anger put down, true, but still there. Better not allow that anger to explode. His own rage still shocked him.

"Well... it's done, then. I have told you the only secret I ever hid from you, and I trust that you have, as well. Well."

Truly the better of two evils to apologize rather than face her rage. She seldom became angry, but the few times she had had left several horrific memories. Actually there were a few scars, too. Women were usually calm, but their rage twice worse than anything men could ever do. They would kill a man for looking at her askance, perhaps mourn him later, but still do it knowingly. And after all this time, he still didn't understand them...

"I'm so sorry, Honovi. I shouldn't have shouted at you. These secrets, they just make me angry. I never liked keeping secrets, and..."

He stopped half-sentence, eyeing her warily. He wouldn't want to anger her with his babbling, after all...

[Honovi]

Why should Alex be angry? She was only teasing when she said his oaths meant nothing to her, and that was hardly anything new. Had he missed her smile? The sudden softness in her voice? Honovi pursed her lips, straightening once again under his harsh glare. It was an unwelcome reminder that Alex was not himself, but a necessary one, and she resolved to be wary.

If there was ever a time to tell him about her father, however, it was now. Being a mage's daughter, after all, was little different from being a mage's grandson, yes? And he had just revealed his childhood fascination with magic. Perhaps he would not be so furious as she'd thought.

That, however, was only something more she'd been wrong to believe about her brother. He was shouting, furious, his eyes blazing with hate and it occurred to Honovi not for the first time that day that she didn't know him at all since he picked up that cursed sword. There was something very wrong with him, and she didn't like it at all. Keldian and everyone he'd even known would die for this.

But suddenly the rage in his eyes just... vanished. Honovi wanted desperately to be relieved but that was wrong. Alex had never been a man of moods, when he was angry he was angry and he shouldn't be back to himself so quickly.

She was determined to keep her guard up, maintaining her rigid posture and fixing her gaze on the blue patch over Alex's shoulder. If she met his eyes, she'd lose his resolve, she knew. But he was right there and she turned her gaze to him for half a moment and it was over. Opening her arms to him, she nodded.

"I know, brother, neither did I. Let's go find that scholar now, yes?"