Freedom's Gift. -Questioning Beliefs- (Fenris)

[Fenris]

"Gespard? Gespard the Emperor of Orlais?"

Fenris stood on the brink of yelling at her, but managed to get hold of himself with an immense effort.

"You talked with David? What did he say? I must know everything. Tell me."

He wanted desperately to know. David could've told the poor idiot anything, and she would've believed it.

"What else did he tell you?"

[Lyaera Amavaintria]

The sudden outburst caused Lyaera to step back in surprise, why the sudden interest? Then again, as he was here, he did have a right to know. They were practically captives.

"Yes, last night... he told me that it would be a foolish plan, and that there is bound to be death, other than that, I know nothing else," she told him, though felt almost as if she was betraying David's trust, but she kept calm and stood her ground, she wouldn't be intimidated.

"Something must be going on, after all... he mistook us for spies... but I don't know what this plan is..."

Something about being alone in a room with this elf was starting to make her feel nervous, this hot and cold behavior was rather... overwhelming. She had to speak up. Walking over to the table, she began to clean up, noting that her efforts had been mostly wasted. She glanced over her shoulder, glancing at the elf for a short moment, a light smile appeared. He was an odd one, she had to admit... the kind of person you don't know whether to hate or love, everything they did would make you smile or give you that warm feeling inside, but it's how they did it that would make you feel rather hesitant.

She felt like a fish being reeled in then cast back out. Once the table was cleared, with the exception of the wine remaining, she leaned herself against the table's edge. Worst than a woman menstruating. What a lovehateship this was turning out to be.

"My only concerns are you and myself here," she spoke up, taking another sip of her wine, her expression was hard to read yet it appeared serious as her eyes were focused on him, the wrong movement from him would certainly cause eye contact "I don't fight to please, or to take sides, I fight to protect those that matter to me." Her gaze remained like that for a while until he would respond. There was no love in her words, but neither was their any hate - it was just a fact and if he disagreed with her words, then it still wouldn't make her take back what she said, she'd stick by what she believed in.

Downing the rest of her wine, she went over to the flap which allowed exit to her tent she pulled it open slightly and peered out - a forming habit due to being the only woman there, she felt the need to be cautious. "I don't really pay much attention to politics and such, they all seem like liars to me and false givers of hope, but as I said before, I'm not fighting to take bloody sides, my kind hasn't exactly been given much thought nor are they ever bothered with unless they're being made slaves or servants, or workers in a whorehouse... and the ones who aren't - the Dalish, they just seem like ghosts..." it felt odd to talk of such things, but she was right in saying so.

"What can anybody do really? Not everything has to be won by a sword, yet words never seem to be enough for most anyway," she sighed, to be honest, this all felt so very foolish to her "I guess David has good intentions with his cause, but then again, the same could be said for Mages, and look how that turned out... give a person too much power and it corrupts them."

Almost as if irritable, she slammed her goblet down on the table. "I've no intention to hurt or kill anyone, but one way or another... we all need to survive, we can only try to do things with a good heart whereas most are merely puppets. War is where the young and stupid are tricked by the old and bitter into killing each other..." for a moment, she paused, once again she was making an idiot of herself, then again, maybe not but either way she covered it up "hmh, don't mind me, just drunken talk."

She remained standing and turned her attention to Fenris.

"So, after you leave here, do you have any plans at all? You're a free man after all, surely you must have something out there waiting for you..."

[Fenris]

"Ah, so he's going to war with our dear Emperor..."

Fenris laughed harshly.

"The man's a bloody fool and is going to get himself killed sooner or later. I need to talk to him, Lyaera. I didn't save you for him to kill you in some meaningless battle against the Emperor."

He dug in, preparing for the counter-argument.

[Lyaera Amavaintria]

Subject avoided once again, she'd get use to it eventually. She breathed in deeply with her mouth, then exhaled through her nose after listening to his words. Fair enough she owed it to him for saving her on two occasions, but what business of his was it? She already discarded the idea that he could possibly care about her or even worry that she could die, clearly he didn't want his efforts to go to waste, and that's all there was to it.

"Maybe so..." she admitted "he may just as well get himself killed, and I might possibly be killed also, but that shouldn't matter to you," she spoke almost challengingly, her gaze hard on his face "if he dies, what difference does it make? People die every day, especially in battle, and if I die... what does it matter to you? My kind are slaughtered near enough every day, am I not free as you say I am? To make my own choices and decisions?"

She wasn't being harsh or anywhere close to it, it was basically bluntness with only snippets of emotion in her tone. "I must say that he's rather brave, or stupid, whichever you prefer, but it's not every day people fight for their own rights, their own beliefs, especially when it comes to opposing the Emperor of Orlais," she folded her arms over her chest, the lighting inside of the tent flickered slightly due to a dimming candle "and as I said before, if I have to fight, it's not because I'm taking sides. Fenris, I want to live, I want to survive and be free... what are the odds of being let go from here without there still being a hint of doubt that we're spies? I know we can both fight, but I don't like the idea of our chances being two to six thousand."

She took another breath, the air seemed thick around her, almost suffocating, yet the atmosphere was rather calming. "If you wish to talk to him, then I won't stop you, you've every right to," she said sincerely as she walked past him, patting his shoulder lightly before standing almost back to back with him "... just avoid getting yourself killed again, okay?" Was it affection or just concern? She didn't know, but that okay... it was obvious she was worried... about something.

[Fenris]

Fenris was rather taken aback by her answer. He recoiled.

"You're asking why I care so much? Because I care about you, that's why! Stop with your nonsense about the slaughter of our kind, woman. What does it benefit you if you die in a battle? Or is this something else?"

He took a deep breath, gathering in all his anger and imbuing them into his next words.

"When one person takes his time with you, saves your life twice, and finally begins to care about you like an elf deserves...what do you do? You decide to kill yourself. Do you wish for more sorrow? For more broken hearts and more anguished talk about an anguished past? Leave it behind you, Lyaera! You have no need to dwell in your tormented years. Your master - he's alive, isn't he? We'll kill him. Slaughter him and his goons, cut them up like never before for what they've done to you. And then we'll be free. Free to move to Nevarra, for example. Nevarra treats elves well..."

Fenris stopped, turning his gaze to inspect her features again. His eyes were gleaming.

"You want to crush all of these opportunities; no, you want to crush your own life that has just began to unfold before you - for what? Because you want to feel anguished and pitied? Ah, I don't often say this, but what in the Maker's name is wrong with you?"

His last sentence held repressed mirth to it. His face had reddened while he was speaking.

[Lyaera Amavaintria]

Lyaera took in his words, putting up the shield to prevent the cold stab from piercing her heart. She didn't need to think of what to say or how to accept his words, that she knew already and to be honest... his words came as quite a shock. At first she didn't know how to respond - so he did care for her? That was... a first.

"And say I don't die?" she shot back at him, her nails dug deep into her crossed arm to prevent her body shaking "I dislike pity from anyone! But to experience such things to the point where no one cares or even bothers to listen, to have it eat away at you to the point where you become empty, to lack the ability to cry or to love, or to even smile without feeling like it's all an act. You feel brainwashed, corrupted, the person who you once was is dead to you!"

She was lost, that much was clear, she wanted no one's pity but unlike most slaves, they didn't have family or they couldn't even remember them, she had someone to protect, someone to keep from crying every night, to prevent from being beaten. Right there and then, it was clear Lyaera was unraveling at the seams, all of life's energy seemed to be draining from her.

But for some reason, she was angry, not on the brink of tears angry, but furious. "Surely you of all people should understand what it's like! You've been free for years, and myself? Barely a few months! In fact, I'm not even yet free!" her voice was loud, not loud enough to wake anyone, but it was enough either way. And with that she tugged lightly on the choker around her neck. "See this? This does more than just collar me like a Mabari bitch, he could easily find me with it, it contains magic! Either that or it could kill me also," she could feel her cheeks heating up slightly, her stomach felt as if she wanted to be sick - she carried a heavy burden.

"My life hasn't even begun to unfold yet! Say I try to kill my former master, and then what? What if he hurts Nol? Kills him even?! It's not as simple as just waltzing up to him and killing him! I have a lot more to lose other than my own life, Fenris!" after that it felt as if she was out of breath, this was all becoming rather overwhelming now and once the anger passed, she regretted it immediately.

She needed some air, or to sit down - something! Unable to look at him, she walked out of the tent, instantly savoring the breeze against her skin. She honestly didn't know what to do, she felt selfish, she was here safe from harm while her brother was still in the clutches of that sick bastard. How could Fenris possibly understand? Why did she even expect him to? It probably felt all too naive of her, but she didn't want to feel hopeless in all of this.

After a few minutes, she returned inside the tent with her head down, it took her a while before she could speak again. "Fenris, I am sorry... I didn't mean to yell, I guess... spending so much of your life caring for others, you tend to forget about yourself," she murmured, her eyes staring thoughtfully at the floor before shaking her head a little "you are right, I shouldn't be so foolish, it's in the past... but like someone tapping on your shoulder, sometimes you can't help but look back."

It seemed like walking a mile as she walked over to him, she was silent, her head still hung low and almost as if she didn't care, her body gently brushed against his as she stood close to him with her forehead lightly touching his shoulder, her touch feather light. She made no attempt to hug him as the thought never crossed her mind, but somewhere inside, she wanted to feel something. She wasn't hoping for any love or act of affection, but just something - anything - that said she wasn't alone.

"You've given me so much, and I was an idiot to attempt to throw it away so carelessly... thank you for making me see what an idiot I was being..." she said with a near mutter, and if by some miracle, she felt hope's light once again and looked up at the white haired elf, a small smile appearing "... I hope you can forgive me, I'd hate to lose someone I care about."

Looking back at what had been done and what had been said, she knew it was foolish of her. Perhaps she didn't need to be understood, she needed only to understand herself. But then it occurred to her.

"You would honestly help me kill my own master? Fenris, my problems are not your own," she spoke not in impoliteness, but in concern "what did I tell you before? I don't want you to get yourself hurt, once was fair enough, twice was a kindness, but three times? He's a Mage, he'll most likely have allies that are Mages, too. Do you really think the two of us could take on that many? As well as paid mercenaries, sad to say... you did have trouble with the ones that tried to--" she paused, not wanting to dare say the words. She took her time and continued.

"Let's at least think about this... take our time to plan it out..."

[Fenris]

Fenris looked sadly at her.

"You were so lucky. You didn't have to be hard or merciless. You seemed like a helpless child to me then. And do not ask for my intentions, please. Whatever I do for whatever intentions is my business. It's usually for your own best anyway. Such as helping you kill your own master."

[Lyaera Amavaintria]

At that moment, while standing there alone with this remarkably odd elf, Lyaera began to wonder. Behind that rough exterior and those intense green eyes, there was something more, something more meaningful deep within, she wouldn't make it her goal to find out what that something was, but it made her realise one thing - and that, she would keep to herself.

"I just know I'm going to have hard time figuring you out," she chuckled, stepping away from him slightly, at the same time the both of them were rather similar but also very different, then again it made a nice change. Rather than have others going easy on her and sugar coat theirs words, she preferred it this way.

Looking down at something, she smiled, removing the black string with a small wolf pendant attached from around her neck - having no need of it anymore. She took his hand and carefully dropped it in his palm before closing his fingers over it "Just know..." she began, placing a feather light kiss on his cheekbone "that for as long as you shall need me, I will remain by your side."

Still, it worried her, she had no idea what could happen and what her Master could possibly conjure up. He was indeed very deceitful.

[Fenris]

Fenris' eyes widened as she kissed him gently. He had not meant for this to happen, not yet at least, and certainly not in such a fashion. If he had asked himself the same question before the kiss, his answer would've been "Not interested." But now he felt the spot burning, turning his stomach over, curling his emotions into a ball instead of relaxing them. He found himself caged.

"Thank you..." he said weakly, his grim eyes locked on the floor.

Truthfully speaking, he knew that he couldn't be in a relationship any longer. Fenris had had a love interest a few years ago, but that had ended quite badly: he had been chased out of the Free Marches and then chased by templars and seekers. He had even been caught once, caged with the damned mage Anders. That had been experiencing hell.

"Well, planning. We oughta stay close, just in case your master might want to use that collar against you. If he's following you, then he probably wants to snatch you in the night while you're sleeping or something similar. Now, if you don't mind, I think we should really go talk to David about this... have him arrange you a bodyguard or two. I'll do my best, but I can't stay up every night to protect you either. But we have to talk to David, Lyaera."

[Lyaera Amavaintria]

Maybe a kiss was a weak way to say thank you, she realized it could have meant almost anything, but it was rather too late now.

Irritably so, all this talk made her feel insignificant. This was getting dangerous yet everything felt so right and well, but this was ridiculous, it gave her a headache. "Fenris, I can handle myself, don't feel as if you need to guard me," she sighed, finally stepping away from him and began to prepare her bed "uh... I think maybe we should rest now... obviously in our own tents, we'll speak with David in the morning..."

What was she doing? This wasn't suppose to happen.

[Fenris]

"Stop talking like a damn lonely wolf. You're not one, and you don't even resemble a wolf. You need bodyguards in order to survive, Lyaera," Fenris snapped angrily.

"And if he's coming for you... a mage, huh? Mages have ways of doing things."

[Lyaera Amavaintria]

This was now just getting too ridiculous to comprehend, this man was just infuriating now, first kind then a pain in the ass the next. "Fenris... get out..." she said simply, holding in her anger. Was he doing this on purpose? Or was he just plain oblivious?

"First you insult me, then you say you care about me, and now this" she said in a rather shuddering tone, and soon something snapped in her head as she whirled around, glaring intently "could you stop treating me like I'm weak!? Honestly, you're confusing me! It's infuriating! You're not all powerful, there are those who can defend themselves and fight! Do you realise how rude and ignorant you can be!? How dare you assume that I need others just to survive!"

She'd had enough, this was getting nowhere and she was indeed getting sick of this hot and cold attitude. "Out!" she yelled, slamming her palm against a block of wood keeping the supports of her tent in place "how do people even handle your attitude!? You can be so ignorant and rude! You complicated, stubborn, blunt, angst-ridden ass! Not everything you say and feel is set in stone! Gah!"

With a rather feminine huff, she stormed out of the tent, now she wanted to get away from him and now it was much harder for her to even bother returning. She wasn't thinking, but she didn't care. Walking over to the armoury, she geared up and gathered her weapons. She didn't want stay here for the night, and neither did she care what the watch guards would say.

Her suppressed anger was finally showing itself.

[Fenris]

Fenris couldn't believe her stupidity. He was astonished, unable to say a word, until a little idea gathered in his head. Fenris smiled at Lyaera.

"Have fun out, dear..."

He walked out of the tent, trying not to shake. He was furious, worried and oddly amused. He could only laugh when he thought what would happen to her out there, alone in the wilds. When she gets in trouble, there'll be no Fenris to save her this time: Fenris won't know about it until it's too late. And that was his alibi for the future.

[Lyaera Amavaintria]

Taking sharp and long breaths, Lyaera couldn't believe any of this, she couldn't understand any of this. How did someone go from caring to inconsiderate? Quite easily it seemed. It made her wonder why she wasn't going along with what her Master wanted, though her being angry was hardly suitable for clear thinking, he didn't deserve that fate but what was his problem?

Sure, he told her not to dwell on her past, but what if it was his past that caused him to act that way? The least she could say was at least she didn't let her past change her, but perhaps that was why he was this way. Did he forget who it was that saved him from death? She couldn't understand him at all!

She couldn't say anything, her body just shook from anger. After a while of walking, she sat at a stump, rubbing her forehead in an attempt to prevent the throbbing.

Though it wasn't long until she heard a feint growl that caused her ears to twitch. It sounded like a bear.

"Oh... great..." she muttered climbing the nearest tree and reached for her bow.